Fruit jokes
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."