Superman was bored and wanted to go out, he called all his super friends but they were all busy. He even calls Louis but it's her time of the month. He flies to the liquor store and buy some beer and gets drunk. As has flying he sees wonder woman naked on top of the roof, he starts thinking 'I will fly down.......and have sex with her sooooo fast "BURP" that she WON'T know what happen. "HICKUP" He flies to her faster than a speed of light BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG and flies away with a smile he passes out and crashed into a wall. Wonder woman jumps up and screams 'WHAT WAS THAT........ the invisible man appears holding his butt and he gets off on wonder woman and says 'I dont know but my butt hurts real bad'.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
My phone was at 10% and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen hawkin
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.
My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol"
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that you rude girl"
You: "Your mom gay lol"
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet
What's the difference between me and my best friends
At least one of us has a house
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
