Friends jokes

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

Do you know Candice?

"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Friend: You're adopted.

Orphan: At least I was chosen!

Friend: At least I was kept.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

What do you call a group of teenage emos?

Suicide squad.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

What does an Emo do with his friends?

Literally hanging out.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Why'd the emo have no friends?

"Because they like to hang by themself."

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

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