Friends Jokes

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

Friend: You're adopted.

Orphan: At least I was chosen!

Friend: At least I was kept.

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.