Friends jokes
We were versing year 8 at footy, and they were mostly black, so I told my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"
Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
That one depressed friend.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(