Friends jokes

Do you know Candice?

"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.

What do you call a group of teenage emos?

Suicide squad.

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

Me: Do you like cobble?

My friend: No.

Me: Gobble deez nuts!

Why'd the emo have no friends?

"Because they like to hang by themself."

What does an Emo do with his friends?

Literally hanging out.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

Friend: You're adopted.

Orphan: At least I was chosen!

Friend: At least I was kept.

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.