Friends jokes

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

The dark side of kid songs:

You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.

My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"

Dude named Guys:

Dude named Out:

Dude named School:

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?

Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.