Friends jokes

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

That one depressed friend.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.

In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.