Friends jokes
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.