Friends jokes

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my was kicked, let's be friends?

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.

He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?

A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"

What did the salad say to pineapple?

"Lettuce be friends."

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.