Friends jokes
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
New friend new, new Website, new child porn
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.
My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)
My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
Friend: Your life is a joke.
Me: No, jokes have meaning.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.