Friends jokes

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.

A gay man offers him a drink.

The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.

"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."

The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.

Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.

They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"

He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."

So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

I: "Get a boomerang."

Type: "Why?"

Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."

Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?

Friends: What?

Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

At gym class today, my friend made this song:

🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?

It was family friendly.

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

Hi, Charlie, is your friend?