Friends jokes
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)
Friends = your power level.
Emo kid = power level: 0000.
You: I have a nice hairline.
Your friend: Since when do you have one?
You: I forgot.
My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.