Friends jokes
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.
During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Friend: Your life is a joke.
Me: No, jokes have meaning.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
You think your friends get butthurt?
That's gay guys.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.