Friends jokes

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

To anyone who wants to be my friend:

Hello.

Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!

Alex <3

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

Friend: Your life is a joke.

Me: No, jokes have meaning.

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

My friend is a pimp.

I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.