Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
Why did Sally get a black eye? Because she decided to play football.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
What did sally get for her birthday? A football! Only joking she hasn't opened the box yet.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Arsenal
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
IF STEPHEN HAWKINS HAD A FIFA CARD HE WOULD HAVE 99 DRIIBLE
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
