Food

Food Jokes

Santa Claus

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Pork

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Dinner

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

Cop

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

COVID-19

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

CEO

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

Sex

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Dad

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

Panera

What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?

Panera misled.

Banana

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!