Food jokes
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
Orphans bake bread with what kind of flour?
Self-raising.