Food jokes
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
Orphans bake bread with what kind of flour?
Self-raising.
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.