Food jokes
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
Memes
The best snack
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.