Fish jokes

Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.

Why is the ocean blue?

A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.

Who was not happy that the Titanic sank? The fish under it.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Nothing, because fish can't talk.

I said to the fish, "I have dam."

I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.

Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!

What is a fish without i's?

Fsh.

2+2=🐟

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

True Story

A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"

The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.

Things we all do:

Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

I do this too often!

There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What did Nemo say to the emo?

"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."

I ate Nemo.

Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?