Fish jokes
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
Leave you answer in the comments. The answer will be revealed in 24 hours.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
gay fish.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!