First jokes

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

First (DYM 68).

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Why did the first fence hate the other fence?

The second fence used some of-fensive language.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?

A: Makes a Down payment.

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.