First jokes

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

First (DYM 68).

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

First bite: Oh my God!

Second bite: Oh my, God!

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

Why did the first fence hate the other fence?

The second fence used some of-fensive language.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.