First jokes

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.

Your hairline goes back to the first century.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

First (DYM 68).