First Jokes

God said the first person to kill Hitler go's to heaven. Hitler: Kills himself.

what came first he chicken or the egg?

I dont know go google it.

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE YOU know why? IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

i bet when your mom first saw you she said oh my god this aint my child my child would look amazing

What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? BOB What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod

More random keyboard words made into sentences:

This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able play the first person who played it.

Girls are like a bus you might miss the first bus an catch the second bus

An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back the old man wanted to do it with his wife the man set up everything needed a did the video I threw it back first then his wife bust instead of an old lady it was ashes

3 guys landed on a cannibal island. the Cannibal chef told them if you want to live to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to me and I will tell you what to do. so the first guy brings 10 apples and the chef said if you can shove all 10 of those in your ass without making a sound you can live. He was 3 apples in made a sound and they ate him. the second guy brought grapes. 9 grapes in and burs ted out laughing. The Cannibals ate him. then the first guy said why you laugh you were almost there. the other guy who had the grapes said I couldn't help it I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples.

A russian, a brit and a terrorist are in an air balloon. First the russian says "i dare to throw a stone down" So he does that but the others dont seem to be impressed so the brit says " i dare to throw a brick down " so again he does that, the russian is impressed but the terrorist laughs and says " i dare to throw a bomb down " so he does that and everybody cant believe what they have just seen so a bit further they land and a shocked and an afraid little boy comes running up to them so they ask what happened, on wich the little boy said " I farted and my school exploded".

First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I'm a butcher" SHE:"were through!"

I am sick and tired of horror movies it is always the stupid ones that die first. when you see a guy in a dark bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; Don't scream run.

Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time

What do you call a knight that has one a arm? A first battle night. What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight

spongebob: easy now you try first get a jar patrick: *picks up nuke* spongebob: patrick that's a nuke patrick: yes nuke: *boom*

A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back up a gain 10 minutes later. The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive and the man said with a drunk slurred voice I “I don’t know every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT! The bartender looks at the first man and says”Your and a-hole when your drunk Superman.”