First jokes

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

First (DYM 68).

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.

Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.

Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.