First jokes

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"