First Jokes

Q: why d men say ladies first A: s they can ook at there a**

What the second hardest thing in the morning? The First Hardest Thing 🍆

Two lepers meet on the street First says “how you doing?” Second says “mustn’t crumble”

No. Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.

Sorry I got joke wrong the first time

The first time you have have to do a full body workout in

one day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said,"First time?"

Two people stood in one room, the first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I hadda punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

deku: hey todroki are you done with your Halloween costume todo: yes*comes out in a macaroni outfit deku:wha- im todoroni bakugo:omfg im out *blows up ua*

This my first joke on here I know it sucks. I tried.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.

How ironic is this ?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first

The leaf because the emo got caught by the rope

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner The joke is I new right after she said I'll call you She was lying to me, not surprised even a little The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call , but did I really think she was going to, I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place, I think it was just to prove I was right , I'm unwanted LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS

Scratches on an icy road and kills or 50 people on the bus and when they get to heaven God feel so bad for them and grants them all one wish the first lady in the line was always worried about her looks so she wish to be beautiful and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to want to wish about so he also wish to be beautiful but this keep on going but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh when he got to God he said God says what’s what is your one wish my son I wish you can make them all ugly again

Why did alice from wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.