First jokes

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

What is an orphan versus orphan competition?

Who will get adopted first?

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?

A family.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."