First jokes

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?

A family.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.