A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
First Jokes
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
