First jokes
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
What do you call an Emo in the hanging gallows?
Happy for the first time.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.