First jokes
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
I was rolling dice online and this is the first two I get
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.