When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes
I was told to burn calories so I threw your mom in the fire.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill but before I did I set his wheels on fire and called him hot wheels
my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones so I throwaway the bent ones
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire hot wheels
What is black and at the top of a staircase..................... Stephen Hawking after a house fire
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, "okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "what?" As he looked over at Jim.
What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
