A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory?
For Throwing Out the W's
What do you call Stephen HAawking on fire
Hot wheels
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire then called him hot wheels.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's
boss: you're fired
me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
boss: you're a waiter where did you get those
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
i was talking to my friend and he said "I lost my virginity to a girl and then she stopped coming to school" and I said "probably because she was fired"
