Fire

Fire Jokes

Calorie

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Helicopter

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

Marshmallow

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Orphan

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Cremation

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Penis

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

Guy

What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?

A firecracker.

Banana factory

I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.

God

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

Victim

Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.

Father

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Wheelchair

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣