Fire

Fire Jokes

Factory

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

Chef

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

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  • Death

    What do fire and people have in common?

    They will both eventually die out.

    Mansion

    Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

    Almost took out the whole trailer park.

    Boy

    Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

    He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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  • Baby

    What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

    Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

    Face

    It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!

    Job

    Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

    Patch

    What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

    — You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

    Cheese

    After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.

    Word

    I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

    Superman

    Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

    Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

    Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

    Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

    Marshmallow

    What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"