Fire

Fire jokes

I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

  • 0
  • My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

    They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

    Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

    He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

  • 4
  • What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

    Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

    It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!

    What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

    — You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

    I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"