Fire jokes
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!