Fire jokes
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"