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Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
I find bananas very appeeling.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.