Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
