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Math

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Alarm Clock

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan with parents?

Idk, I never met one before.

Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

An orphan.

Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

Because they can’t find one.

lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

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  • Pussy

    Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

    Memes

    Hunter

    Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

    After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

    The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

    Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

    Viagra

    Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

    Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

    Woman

    If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

    So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

    Slave Owner

    What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

    Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.

    Lunch

    What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

    An ingestigation.

    Psychopath

    Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

    Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

    Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

    Rapper

    Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

    To find the right direction for his FLOW.

    Handcuff

    I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

    Jesus

    Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

    Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

    Rapper

    How did the rapper find his missing phone?

    He checked the track list.

    Kobe Bryant

    You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

    Hairline

    Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

    Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

    Mirror

    Wanna hear a joke?

    Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')

    Orphan

    My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.