I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any- let's just say I list my job as a bud driver
I find bananas very appeeling.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs. He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.
The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up...and throws her in the pond telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything and person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?
Person #2: No you can have it.
Person #1: Ok, thanks...
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: That’s about as far as I got too!
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish so he started to yell out lil fishy lil fishy lil fishy they called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles and a small scar on her right check. Last seen on cctv wearing a see through bottoms, a pink top and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer
What's handsome and smart, you can hear him and see him its you goodlooking guys so sad you cant read this since you're blind, oh geez i just find this website and i want to make people laugh, to bad they cant see the joke
RAPE 9/11 ABORTION ORPHAN MURDER DEAD KILL DRUGS am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank* She has cancer
lillys hair line was so fat that charlene could not find it on roblox
Me in my dream: what a good day *rumble* ooh! What was dat I wake up and I find myself on the floor
how do trees find each other, they log-ate!
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car you won’t find a 5.7l v8
My chance of finding love
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)
Funny things or weird things to say to someone. Hey...have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone. Its hard to find friends that 91% Funny 100%Nice and 100,0000 % good-looking. Funny! Weird name to call a girl: Sweetums. Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins. Lumpy. Nilly. Ninty Minty. and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross thats why I am not getting a bf!
How do you know when germane people break into your house? When you can not find your bed
why cant orphans play baseball. they cant find
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.
two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."
