Find jokes
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
I spit on an orphan. What is he going to do? Tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can never find home.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"
Dad: "Because I’m gay."
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*
Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"
Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."
The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."
Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"
Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"
Son: "But it was a nightmare..."
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"
The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.