Find jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.