Find jokes

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.

The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.

Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

Family feud after finding out about Alabama.

Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.

Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.

A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

How do you find a redneck virgin?

Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!

Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!

What gun can’t you find in Africa?

A water gun.