Find jokes

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?

Your dad.

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?

Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.

This is coming from an Indian btw and I find it very racist and it all stereotypes.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Why did Ama cross the road?

To find his dad.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.