Find jokes

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."

Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.

The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.

What do we find at the end of every rainbow?

The letter W.

What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.

Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?

You know what pun is used for "waist?"

Nothing. You'll find nothing.

It's just a waste of time.

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!

I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.