When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
What’s the easiest way for parents to find out if their child is gay Look in the closet
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Roses are red Violets are blue two gay lovers find out they are brothers
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
