You: Finds a time clock that can change time
Your friend the next day: Hey, can borrow yo' house
You: No I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again
Stephan Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills He just couldn’t figure out who
I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the the dash.
I wasn't staring at you I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper because a huge rock is headed towards earth and paper covers rock
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Ur forehead’s so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker🖕that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger...then it hit me
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
I know this girl Kamelah she say what are you looking at I said I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline
it would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline
Yo forehead is so big Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
Hey, I’m George and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, And find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans-
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde? They don’t know they couldn’t figure out what to say
