Find Out

Find Out jokes

Dildo

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

Money

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Vegetarian

Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.

Blowjob

Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?

Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.

Adoption

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

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  • Accent

    I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.

    Chick

    What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?

    They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

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  • Heterosexual men

    Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.

    Gay

    How do you find out if your kid is gay?

    Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

    Puberty

    How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.

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  • Dildo

    Many years of sex in the dark.

    The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

    The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

    Rape

    What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

    She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

    Trans

    There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

    Idk

    I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."

    Girlfriend

    A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

    The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

    Lamp

    A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.

    Accident

    Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

    Miscarriage

    When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

    So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"