Find Out

Find Out jokes

Dildo

  • 20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

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    Money

  • Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

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  • Porn

  • I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

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  • Vegetarian

  • Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.

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    Blowjob

  • Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?

    Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.

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    Heterosexual men

  • Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.

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  • Gay

  • How do you find out if your kid is gay?

    Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

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  • Trans

  • There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

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    Dildo

  • Many years of sex in the dark.

    The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

    The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

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    Rape

  • What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

    She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

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  • Heart Monitor

  • Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

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