So cinema.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
