Field jokes

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?

One has a home.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home is.

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Why don’t orphans play football?

They have no home field.

What's the definition of suspicious?...

A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀

Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?

Me: Because they can't get a homerun.

What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

BaBOOM!

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They can't find home base.

Why can't orphans go on a field trip?

They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

Why can't the orphan go on a field trip?

Because he can't sign the parent's signature.

Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

Why was the rapper bad at baseball?

Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.

Why can't orphans go on field trips?

They don't have anybody to sign the form.