Field jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field? The baseball field has a home to run back to.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.