Field jokes
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.
I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.