Feel jokes
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesnβt feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. π
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
This song is sus, because Iβm happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"
The kid named Dead: "πππ"
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 π¦Ά taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! π But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesnβt change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.
BUT!!!!!!
I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.
As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.
I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)
You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.
They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!
You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? ππ
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" π€£
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Why donβt I like shafting?
It feels squishy.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.