Favorite jokes

There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.

An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"

His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.

He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"

"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"

"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.

Two wind turbines are standing in a field.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."

What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?

Dribble.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?

Black and white.

What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.

What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.

My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.

I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?

Family Dollar store.

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"

Miscarriage.

What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.

Think of your favorite singer. Now, go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS. Now think about your least fave, mine is Oil London 😵. This is my home now.

1. What rhymes with "oil"? Put it in da chat. Bye weird people!

What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.

What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?

A Mars bar!

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!