Favorite jokes

What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"

Miscarriage.

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Think of your favorite singer. Now, go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS. Now think about your least fave, mine is Oil London 😵. This is my home now.

1. What rhymes with "oil"? Put it in da chat. Bye weird people!

What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.

What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?

A Mars bar!

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

What is Jesus' favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

What is the butt’s favorite computer?

The Tushiba.

What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.

Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?

Bee-thoven.

What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.

What is an Emo's favorite movie?

"Suicide Squad."

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What's an orphan's least favorite game?

Hide and seek.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.

What is an emo kid's favorite song?

"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.

What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.

What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming."