Father's jokes
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me." "What was your first impression on him?" "I told him, she calls me daddy too."
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."
Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."
Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.