Father's jokes
Why do orphans love going to church?
So they can call someone "father."
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he gets to call someone father.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.