Father's jokes
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Your hairline receded just like your father did years ago.
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
What did an orphan say to its father?
Nothing.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.