Father's jokes
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
Why do orphans only have 362 days of the year?
... bc they don’t have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.
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What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
why do orphans go to church?
because they can finally call someone "father."
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?