Father's jokes

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he could call someone Father.

The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"

The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"

The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"

The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"

The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"

I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.

What did an orphan say to its father?

Nothing.

What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?

Have a blood transfusion.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

I have no father. Like if you relate.

Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.

Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.

What would an orphan priest call himself?

Father Les.