I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.
The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”
Why do orphans come to me Cuz they have someone to call father
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Read my name.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
Why does Aaron cry at night? His alcoholic father beats him.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
