Father Jokes

kid:dad what happen to the kid napper. dad:he had a nap Kid:where is he now dad:HELL

Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not. Not yet says little Johnny so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, I saw you kick the chickens so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either. Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says you want to tell him or should I?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Dad goat:Son do you know what i like to eat Son goat:No what? Dad goat: Goat Meat Son goat:*Gasps* Dad goat: Nah i'm just KIDing

Timmy:*grabs box of trojans* Daddy:... Timmy: Well come on diddy! Daddy: Well shit lets go son! Both: YEE YEE

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

I will always rember my dads last words...

oh wait i've never them.

Rhydon- son Rhydon?- mum RHYDON DEEZ NUTS- son Jeez ur like ur father in bed- mum XD

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad ya definitely got the last laugh!

What’s and orphans favorite holidays mothers and Father’s Day

Why can’t a orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day becuse they have no parents

My father always used to say:

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Until the accident.

We say “Father, I have sinned”, because it would be weird if we said “Daddy, I have sinned” right?“Forgive me Daddy for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father”, not the “Our Daddy”

jack and jill went up to an abanded house jack drank to much and unziped his fly jack said you know you wana jill said no so jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in jills mouth tied her to a bed he riped off her dress and underwere he took off his pants and his underwere to then put on a condum he then put a pill in her mouth and made he swalow one minit later she was asleep he took off her gag and mounded his self on her then stuck his candystick in her mouth next her fanny then his condum broke but he was to drunk to notised 9 month later a babys born and jacks in jail as the father

I say 123 yeah the kids bullied me but they really don't know that my dad has a gun yeah.

Why did the kid name Jeff become gay because he grow up with out a father figure hahaha I love dark humor

A guy start texting a Cute girl and ask to give her phone no. So he can't call her the girl ok but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number then I am gonna be your gf and will meet you somewhere the transfer her the balance and called her but turn out the girl was actually a guy making him fool he blocked him. Next day he was very angry about himself being fool so thought he gonna do the same he make a fake girl account and start texting with some random guy and then he ask that guy to send him balance. Suddenly his father came in his bedroom and ask " son can you send me some balance i am gonna send you can after sometime" that guy look at his father with suspicious eyes and then he call that random number suddenly his father phone start ringing......