Fat Jokes

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.

Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.

Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.