Fat jokes

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

You're just big and good.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Harrison

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."

Yo momma so fat!

Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!