Fat jokes
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
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What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.