Fat jokes
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.