Fat

Fat jokes

Friend

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

Yo mama

"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."

Suicide

Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.

Yo mama

Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.

Mama

Yo mama so fat,

She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.

(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)

Snail

Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.

Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.

Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.

Skeleton

Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Why?

Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!

Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL

Cow

Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.

Boi

My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."

Mom

Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.

Momma

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Mirror

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

Mama

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.

Chick

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.

Mum

Stinking poo poo bum.

Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣

Mum

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

People

When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.

When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!