Fat jokes

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.